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This content is imported from Instagram. View this post on Instagram. This content is created and maintained by a third party, and imported onto this page to help users provide their email addresses. You may be able to find more information about this and similar content at piano. Advertisement - Continue Reading Below. Absolutely not. At the same time, when you run with phrases like "my Prince Charming ", I mean, don't even get me started on how even the Bible says that "charm is deceitful" Proverbs ; for now, we can just go with… who do you know is married to a prince?

And if we tie this into fairy tales, do you ever hear what happens after the "…and they lived happily ever after part" of the story? Chile, we don't have a clue what Prince Charming and Cinderella went through after their wedding day. It's like we're left to make the rest of the story up. Hey, I never said that this article was going to be an easy one. I simply said that sometimes grieving who you thought someone was needs to happen.

If you know that you've been guilty of coming up with your own story and then inserting some man that you like into it, script and all, this is a reality that must be faced.

Otherwise, you are more of a villain in your own fairy tale than you will probably ever choose to accept. And what are some telling indicators that someone is indeed living this way? They refuse to talk about their issues or they don't tell all of what has led up to them. They are constantly on the defensive. They only share the good stuff. They find all kinds of ways to justify their mindset, behavior or patterns.

They "edit out" what they don't want to face head-on. One of the boyfriends from my past, I was in a lot of denial about. I wasn't really physically attracted to him. I carried 90 percent of the financial burden in the relationship. He loved me more than I loved him while I wanted different things at a different time than he did for instance, he actually loved me enough to marry me while I wanted to get married much sooner than he did; I ignored that I didn't love him enough because marriage was such a personally priority at the time.

Yet because I wanted to be cherished so badly and I had already invested so much time into us, I spent a lot of time denying what was while telling myself to ONLY focus on the good.

In the long run, it wasn't worth it. Living in denial rarely is. The thing about making denial a pattern in your life is it's directly connected to self-delusion and self-deception.

So, when it comes to this particular point, if you're not sure if you're living in denial when it comes to your relationship or not, ask some of your friends what they think. Real friends only want what's best for us and because they are not mentally, emotionally and perhaps physically invested into the guy we're with in the way that we are, they can pick up on "hold up signals" in a way that we simply cannot.

Yet still need to. And in this case, what you really need to come to terms with is, can you ACCEPT him for who he ACTUALLY is or do you need to accept that you both should probably part ways, so that you both can be with someone who want try to change either one of you? One of the most helpful ways to come to the decision that you need to make is, when it comes to who he truly is, are you upset because things aren't going your way or are there real deal-breakers on the table?

For instance, if you told yourself that he will become uber romantic and he just isn't that guy, can you deal with that long-term? Or if you told yourself that physical attraction doesn't have to be that important yet it's affecting your intimacy with him, can you really learn to adjust or is it not something that you can get past?

Or if he's all that you want in a husband but he has stated, more than once, that he doesn't want to get married check out " He Loves You. Now What? Like, for real, for real? A part of the reason why it's crucial to go through the grieving process whenever someone reveals themselves to not be who we thought they were is because it's the acceptance of this fact that helps us to make wiser decisions when it comes to what to do about the relationship, moving forward.

If you don't grieve all of this, you could remain stagnant. And in this case, on a lot of levels, unfortunately, that typically equates to settling.

A writer by the name of Anne Rophe once said, "Grief is in two parts. The first is loss. The second is the remaking of life. I say this because, if you now know, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that you are grieving, not so much who a man actually is but who you thought he was , you can embrace the fact that it's not until you fully acknowledge the loss of that version of him that you can start to remake your life — whether that means coming to accept that it needs to be with him which includes the reality of the facts of what you're actually dealing with or alone so that you can 1 learn to become more honest with yourself about seeing people for who they really are so that 2 you can start dating and building with someone from a more realistic perspective.

While you're at it, if you know that all of this is a pattern of yours, write about that too. Give yourself the opportunity to be ANGRY about what you've been denying, so that you can get out your frustrations and not take them out on him. If this means venting to a friend or even speaking with a counselor, please do it.

Clearly, there was some good things about the person and the dynamic that caused you to stand. Internalizing your emotions will just prolong the healing process.

If you decide to stay, be intentional about not trying to change him. If you decide to leave, be disciplined enough to not go back until you know, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that you can accept him as-is; that you will only be there to support him in the changes he desires to make based on the man he needs to become vs. Grieving can be hard. Shoot, harder than even that.

This includes when it's tied to something like conjuring up an image in our mind that doesn't actually exist. But if you do it, you allow healing and clarity to manifest — and when you approach relationships from this space, you are more whole, you are more relaxed and you are better able to see things for what they are, not for what you want them to be.

And then you can make wiser mate selection decisions from that. I know this from very up close and personal experience. So, grieve it out, sis. Grieve it all out. The pain won't last forever and you'll be the better for it. You truly will. HBO's hit show Insecure has been heralded as one of the best and most authentic shows on TV by fans thanks to its real-life depictions of friendships and romantic relationships.

See, I get paid to write about Victoria Beck. I know because, yesterday, we were sitting the same room — well, the sam. Her diagnosis was very early on in the pandemic —March of — a scary. The year-old actress stars in Euphoria alongside Zendaya an.

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