Can you submit articles to the onion

I'm trying to submit something I'm cool like that, until a mod reads this post. Member since: Aug. Member Level 10 Blank Slate. Member Level 04 Blank Slate. I'm pretty sure that gets you banned. Anyways just email the admin or something like that. Member since: Jul. Member Level 24 Blank Slate. Jesus Christ, only the greatest news satire ever!! Seriously, read it now. Lol, now I'm wondering "how long. Member Level 12 Blank Slate. Right here. Do you know how to submit to it?

Member since: Nov. Member Level 06 Blank Slate. Prick your finger, it is done. The moon has now eclipsed the sun. The angel has spread it's wings.

The time has come for bitter things. Member Level 60 Gamer. For more information regarding advertising opportunities with The Onion , please consult our Media Kit. Please send all inquiries to press theonion.

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Learn more about the site here. The Onion is an online-only publication and is no longer available in print. Outside of TheOnion. The Onion has released 13 books over its illustrious year publishing history, including four books of original material. All are available for purchase here. I never saw anything for editorial positions. A completed script for one of their news segment sketches based on ideas or concepts they provided. Like I said, I went through this process the final product is often known in the industry as a "packet" at least twice with no success.

I labored over those 20 headlines like you wouldn't believe. Even the best ideas start to look like shit after you've stared at them for a week. And the scripts. Man, those were hard. They never gave you blockbuster concepts to work with, and I think that was on purpose.

It was always some kind of dry, subtle joke -- they wanted to see what you could do and how far you would take it. But the third time I applied was a charm. I'll never forget opening my email and seeing these words:. We had a huge number of applicants, and we are thrilled with how strong this group is.

I remember texting my wife -- girlfriend at the time. She was in class and stepped into the hall to call me. We both basically screamed on the phone for a couple of minutes. Side Note: I haven't seen any writing positions listed on The Onion's website in years. Granted, I don't check as frequently anymore, but I think the only way to get in with them these days is to be recruited, know someone there, or come up through the ranks as an intern or writer's assistant.

I've heard stories of people that have done this. Serendipity just might strike for you. They put us to work right away. It would be a lot like the Onion video content we knew and loved, except in a half hour format and with recurring anchors as characters. We were required to turn in 25 ideas a week; an "idea" being a headline or concept along with a short explanation of the joke and how the segment would play out.

Some weeks, we'd get really brief feedback on our lists. Other weeks, not. Then, by mid week, they'd compile all the ideas they liked. Some would be marked down as "one liners", or jokes that would be pulled in to scroll across the bottom of the screen during the show. Others were segmented by where in the show they might fit in, with some of them designated to move to the scripting stage where the staff writers would take over.

The process moved fast. My job, along with the other freelancers, was to come up with ideas. We weren't really consulted or informed about anything else surrounding the show.